CLICK CLICK BOOM!
by DeannaSmith
Summary: Harry and gang head off to Hogwarts and are in for a very suprising and stupid year.
1. Default Chapter

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
CLICK CLICK BOOM!  
  
CLICK CLICK BOOM!  
  
CLICK cLICK BOOM!  
  
ITS ALL INSIDE OF ME!  
  
ITS ALL INSIDE OF ME!  
  
ITS ALL INSIDE OF ME!  
  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
CLICK CLICK BOOM!  
  
CLICK CLICK BOOM!  
  
CLICK CLICK BOOM!  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Harry came running out of his room.  
  
"Yeh Boom! Boom! uuummm Boom!"  
  
Ron now comes running out of his room.  
  
  
  
"What the crap are you doing?!"  
  
"I am tryin to stay cool wid it man!"  
  
"Harry you are an IDIOT!"  
  
  
  
"Why the crap am I friends with you?!"  
  
"Because you love me broda."  
  
"Yeah right."  
  
"Come on broda lets go and eat suppa."  
  
"Fine."  
  
When Harry and Ron got there everybody was at the table but Mr.Weasley.  
  
"Mum?"Ron asked.  
  
"Yes Ron?"  
  
"Wheres Dad?"  
  
"I don't know dear. I suppose we should wait for him."  
  
About five minutes later Mrs.Weasley called Mr.Weasley.  
  
"Arthur dear are you coming to dinner?"  
  
"Coming Molly! I have a suprise for you!"  
  
"Oooooo goody! What is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
Mr.Weasly was now running in the kichen and jumping on the table in his underwear.  
  
And had a microphone in one hand and was waving the other one around.  
  
He was singing, Good Charlotte Girls and boys. "Girls don't like boys like cars and money!  
  
Boys will laugh at girls when the're not funny!" And these girls like these boys and these boys  
  
like these girls the girls with the bodies and boys with Farraris!"  
  
And so he went on and on what seemed like forever.  
  
Once Mr.Weasly was finished, everybody looked scared.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?! What?! WHAT?! What do you mean what?! Arthur! You just come running in in the middle of   
  
supper and start singing Good Charlotte's Girls and Boys! Mrs. Weasley was screaming louder than  
  
Harry had ever heard before.  
  
She went on for hours.  
  
  
  
And days.  
  
  
  
And months.  
  
  
  
And years.  
  
  
  
Finaly Harry chopped her head off.  
  
  
  
A couple days later, Harry and Ron were talking outside.  
  
  
  
"Harry I still can't believe that you chopped my Moms head off."  
  
  
  
"Ron, why are you still going on about that?"  
  
  
  
"Well, Harry, you did just chop my Mums head off in front of everybody."  
  
  
  
"SO!"  
  
  
  
Soon all of the kids would have to leave the burrow and go back to Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
Harry was could not wait for this!  
  
  
  
"Just going back to Hogwarts and having fun with my friends we will have a COOOOOOLLL   
  
time man just chillin with my brodas! All at Hogywarts! Don't you feal the same way Ron?"  
  
Harry asked.  
  
  
  
"Ummmmmmmmm, yyeehhhh, rriiigghhhtttt."Ron replied.  
  
  
  
"Come on Ron my broda lets go inside the big old bigy bigy willy old burrow!"  
  
  
  
"Uuuuuuummmmmmmm oookaaay."  
  
  
  
Once Harry and Ron got inside the Burrow Hedwig came flying in and landed on Ginnys head.  
  
  
  
"AAAHHH! Get it off! Its turding on me! AAAHHH!!!"  
  
  
  
"Oh come on Gin Gin its ok it just wants to stay cool wid it man!"Fred said to the screaming   
  
Ginny.  
  
  
  
"Harry! Get your bird of of my head and make it turd somewhere other than my head!" Ginny screamed.  
  
"And it is not trying to stay cool with it!"  
  
  
  
For the rest of the day Hedwig came in and kept on turding on Ginnys head.  
  
  
  
Then the next day something horrible happend to Harry something so horrible it made him cry.  
  
  
  
"NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO HOGWARTS!"  
  
  
  
For the rest of the day Harry was screaming this.  
  
  
  
And he was getting louder and louder every second.  
  
  
  
The next day Harry was all packed for hogwarts.  
  
  
  
"Are you ready to go Harry?"  
  
  
  
"Yes Mrs.Weasy."  
  
  
  
"Alright everybody lets go."Mrs Weasley called.  
  
  
  
So everybody went to the car and off they went.  
  
  
  
"On the road again yeh we'r on the road again I can't wait to be on the road again!"  
  
(A/N I know thats not the right words but oh well!)  
  
  
  
They all sang this the whole way to platform nine and three quarters.  
  
  
  
Now that they are on the Hogwarts express,Draco Malfoy walks into the compartment.  
  
  
  
"Ooooo you Harry dear you are so nice and mighty fine tonight!"Draco said in a womanly   
  
southern accent.  
  
  
  
"I know."said Harry.  
  
  
  
"And Hermione you are so very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very ...  
  
  
  
"STOP SAYING VERY!"  
  
  
  
"Yes Hermione!"  
  
  
  
Hermione rips off her coat and has a ninja suit on.  
  
  
  
"I am going to kick your butt Malfoy!"  
  
"AAAAAHHHH!"  
  
  
  
But too late Hermione had grabbed Malfoy and hung him on the ceiling and made him a pinyata.  
  
  
  
Hermione poked her hed out of the compartment and yelled out,"Pinyata everybody!"  
  
  
  
And everybody came running up with a stick and started hitting Malfoy with it.  
  
  
  
and for some strange reason(after lots of hitting Malfoy) candy came falling out of him.  
  
  
  
and they ate the candy.  
  
  
  
And now they are at Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
They walked into the great hall and looked up at the teachers table and saw that all of the   
  
teachers had bikinis on!  
  
  
  
"Wow all the teachers in bikinis broda! That McGonagall looks hot there broda! Thats my kind of woman!"  
  
Harry said.  
  
  
  
"Harry that is just nasty."Ron said.  
  
  
  
"What? She looks good broda!"  
  
"Harry that is just nasty!"  
  
"No it is not broda!"  
  
"Whatever Harry."  
  
Once they had all got a seat in the great hall the sorting ceremony began.  
  
And everybody was placed in Gryffindor.  
  
No one knows why.  
  
So now the Gryffindor table is packed with first years.  
  
A/N: Review! I might continue. 


	2. The Stuff

  
  
A/N: I own nothing about Harry Potter. Nothing but the stupid/humor story.  
  
Finally Dumbledor said that the feast was over everybody got up and started to there dormitory. Everyone except Harry.  
  
"Harry come on the feast is over." Said Ron.  
  
"Yeh I guess you sa wright." Said Harry misareblly.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Asked Hermione.  
  
"Man...McGonagall took off her bikini." Said Harry about to cry.  
  
"Good!" Said Ron.  
  
"What! She was HOT broda!" Said Harry.  
  
"Well you can dream about her tonight in you'r sleep." Said Ron starting to shake just thinking about it.  
  
"Yeh broda that a good idea! Said Harry.  
  
So Harry,Ron, and Hermione went up to there dormitorys said good night to each other and went to bed. To tired to talk to anyone.  
  
In the middle of the night how ever Harry wouldn't shut up.   
  
"Yo Ron?" Yelled Harry to the bed next to him.  
  
"Shut up Harry!!!" Yelled everyone at once.  
  
"Harry it's three o clock on the morning! Shut up..and...go...to...sleep!" Yelled Ron at Harry.  
  
FINE BUTTCHEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yelled Harry at Ron.  
  
Finaly after four hours of Harry annoying them to death they finaly got to sleep.   
  
The next morning was a bright and sunny day outside the Hogwarts grounds.  
  
"It's so beautiful today!" Exclamed Hermione as they were walking on the grounds to there first class.  
  
"I wonder what Hagrid will be teaching today." Said Hermione curiously.  
  
"Maybe something that will kill us instantly." Said Ron sarcasticly.  
  
"Hopefully. So we can get away from Harry." Hermione said out of the corner of her mouth so that only Ron could hear.  
  
Once the class started Hagrid came out from behind his hut.  
  
"Now I be warnen yeh. These things are very dangerous!" Said Hagrid warningly.  
  
"Um Hagrid why did you start the class of like that?" Asked Ron.  
  
"Because! I'm just a warnen yeh so don't say I did'nt!" Said Hagrid.  
  
"Oh Lord...." Said Hermone under her breath.  
  
Hagrid ran behind his hut and came back with a giant box.  
  
"Now don't be scared!" Said Hagrid.  
  
Everybody took a deep breath.  
  
For it was somthing terible! Horible! So VERY shocking!  
  
It was a...  
  
WORM! DUN DUN DUN DUN!   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Scrame all of the Slytherans.  
  
"Hagrid...why do you have worms for the lesson?" Asked Ron.  
  
"Cuz I just thoughtit would be cool..." Said Hagrid breaking off.  
  
Hagrid ran to the nack of the hut and came back.  
  
"AAAAHH!!!" Everybody screamed.  
  
For Hagrid was chasing them with a chain saw!  
  
"RRRAAAAAA" Yelled Hagrid evily. "Let me kill you!"  
  
AAAAHHHH!!!!!" Everybody started screaming and running away.  
  
Harry got in the Entrance Hall save.  
  
He noticed that he was alone.  
  
"Potter!" Spat somebody from behind.  
  
Harry turned around to see SNAPE!  
  
"Yo what you want?" Asked Harry stupidly.  
  
Sanpe got wright up to Harrys face and said...  
  
"You got it?" Asked Snape quietly.  
  
"Got wha?" Asked Harry.  
  
"You know!" Snapped Snape.  
  
"Oh yeh!...You got the money? I got the stuff." Said Harry leening in closer to Snape.  
  
"Yeh I got the money!" Said Snape.  
  
They started trading when out of nowhere came a voice.  
  
"Harry!" Screached a girl.  
  
Harry turned around and saw Ron and Hermione standing there.  
  
"Oh,hey Mione!" Said Harry.  
  
"Harry, what are you doing?!" Asked Ron shoked.  
  
"Um,nothing." Said Harry.  
  
"Harry,we have been wanting some drugs FOREVER!" Yelled Ron.  
  
"Oh,really?" Asked Harry confused.  
  
"Duh! Yeh!" Said Hermione.  
  
"Well...give us some!" Said Ron.  
  
"You gotta pay for it." Said Harry.  
  
"Fine!" Said Hermione.  
  
"Here." Said Ron.  
  
And they both gave Harry there money. {And got the stuff...lol}  
  
A/N: Ooookkkk. I KNOW I am gonna get flames but...oh well! FLAME ME ALL YOU WANT!!! HAHAHAH!!! But anyway...Please Review!  
  



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